My Daily Prayer

Who would ever think that one could be so miserable at a job that is relatively easy, affords a reasonable schedule for parents, and pays $93,000 per year? It is stunning how incredibly bored I am at this gig. Stunning. And I say this because it’s viciously true. I arrive each workday at 9:00-ish, head for the gym from 11:15 to 12:45, and then drive home at about 4:30. All in all, I’m “working” maybe 6 hours, though I am up to date with all my assigned chores. What an apt word, chore, to describe this scene. I am, for the most part, utterly alone in this brown-gray office. Virtually all others employed here seem to drone on and on and on, wrapped up in the minutiae of far too drawn out details. I may be able to make it another year. Maybe.

September 11, 2010 will mark 15 years in what is essentially the same exact rut on the side of the road of life. Prior to embarking on this bland mission, I had viewed government work as some noble calling, a way to serve my community. It turns out that I am exceptionally selfish and do not have much desire or need to do this folly. I have one year…one year until the halfway mark of a “traditional” 30-year career. I very seriously may vomit right now. I simply, forcefully, willfully MUST find my way before that fateful date hits me like a black bomb. Otherwise, I fear, all may be lost and I will suffer through untold more decades stuck firmly in the bleak mud of this backwater.

God help me find my way. Matthew exhorts us to “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” (Matthew 7:13-14 - NIV). I would rather be riding the cyclone with Dorothy with the chance of meeting Jesus than slowly dying at this desk/casket.